Monday 9 June 2008

Short Sentences can be a powerful tool.

"Short sentences can deliver a big "bang" that long sentences cannot. They also help emphasize a point that might get glossed over in a longer sentence, and help create contrast by breaking up a series of longer sentences. The short sentence in the following example achieves all three of these effects:

Charlotte new the time had come to tell her boss how she really felt, to let him know that she wouldn't take it a second longer. She slammed open her door and marched down the hall, past the unbelieving faces of the secretaries, and into her boss' office. She looked into his eyes, summoned all her courage, and took a deep breath.

She couldn't speak."

Noah Lukeman, A Dash of Style: The Art and Mastery of Punctuation, Norton, 2006 p. 22


Why is the short sentence above so effective? It takes four long sentences to build the Charlotte's emotions in the reader's mind. Then boom, like the air exploding from a pin pricked balloon, only three short words perfectly describe Charlotte's, and the reader's, deflation when Charlotte looks into her boss' eyes. In this case, less is more.

The same effect is captured in the shortest verses in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. "Jesus wept," (John 11:35) and "And my father dwelt in a tent" (1 Nephi 2:15). The words "Jesus wept" evoke deep emotion in the reader's heart that couldn't be reached with more words. The description of Lehi dwelling in a tent captures all the faith and humility of this wealthy man and the sacrifice he was willing to make in order to obey and serve the Lord. Again, less is more.

We have to be careful though, according to Lukeman, not to overuse the period -- meaning creating to many short sentences. Otherwise we can introduce amateurish choppiness into our writing.

That's the thoughts for today. What are your thoughts? Let me know what you think!

1 comment:

Rebecca Talley said...

I agree that short sentences can be powerful.

I like the blog.