The Short and the Long of IT

My last post talked about the importance of short sentences. There are times, however, when using a longer sentence makes more sense. The following example illustrates this idea:

He was hungry. He went to McDonald's. He bought a Big Mac. He ate it.
He was hungry so we went to McDonald's, bought a Big Mac, and ate it.

The short sentences above are choppy and fail to convey a complete idea in and of themselves. However, when combined into one sentence, we get a more complete picture without the choppiness.

"Long sentences--like short sentences--can work well at the beginning or the ending of a chapter or a book. . . beginnings and endings allow poetic license, and a longer opening or ending can engage readers, allow them to settle in (or out). Like the opening and closing shots of a film (which are often much longer), readers are open for anything at those precious moments, and thus more willing to allow an unusual style."

Noah Lukeman, A Dash of Style: The Art and Mastery of Punctuation, Norton, 2006 p. 29

How many times have you heard the term hook? Many times a hook at the beginning of a book will consist of several long, well formed sentences that meld together to present an intriguing idea that makes you want to read more. A perfect example of this is the opening paragraph form A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

That one sentence's ability to draw readers in like a fisherman reeling in a fish is a powerful part of why A Tale of Two Cities is still considered a classic today. I can't read it without feeling enticed in like a bear looking for honey.

Another suggestion Lukeman makes for the use of longer sentences is to use them to help distinguish between the differing viewpoints of two characters in the same book. If you are having difficulty in distinguishing between the viewpoints of the two characters, you might try using longer sentences for one character and shorter sentences for the other.

It takes time to develop the ability to know when to use shorter or longer sentences and incorporate that ability into your writing while at the same time not allowing the effort to do so to drown out your own voice. It's an art form that I'm still working on. How about you? What are your thoughts?